If You're Happy In Your Crap...

...Clap your hands...
One of my favorite fables is the fable of the arrogant Sparrow. As the story goes, there was this one young hotshot sparrow who decided if he didn't migrate south for the winter with everyone else, he would have the whole place to himself with out anyone to boss him around. So everyone else migrated except him and of course, at first it was awesome! This sparrow ruled the roost and had everything to himself. Then winter came. The first snow was beginning to fall and the sparrow thought to himself, "maybe I'll migrate just a little south, you know, just to get out of this storm." But it was too late. As the arrogant Sparrow attempted to fly south, snow and ice collected on his wings, he began to freeze and ended up plummeting to the snow covered earth below. As luck would have it, the arrogant Sparrow had fallen in a snow drift which was located directly in the path of a dairy farm's dairy cows who happened to be on their way to the barn for their afternoon milking. And, as luck would have it, just as the arrogant Sparrow was thinking the snow would take him and this would surely be the end for him, one of those dairy cows crapped directly on him. At first, the arrogant Sparrow thought, "oh great, as if things weren't bad enough!" but then the arrogant Sparrow began to feel his whole body be warmed and thawed by the steaming pile of cow crap. The little sparrow couldn't believe his luck, he was going to live after all, hurray!! And the little sparrow began to sing with joy pleased with his life and luck. But, as luck would have it, just as the little sparrow began to sing with joy, the barn yard cat happened by. At first the cat couldn't believe he was hearing a pile of cow crap singing like a bird and decided to investigate further. As the barn yard cat dug through the cow crap, sure enough, there was a delicious warm sparrow in it, so the the barn yard cat reached in, grabbed the sparrow and ate it. THE END

Now fables always have morals at the end of the story. This one has three.
Moral One: Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy
Moral Two: Not everyone who pulls you out of your crap is your friend
Moral Three: If you're happy in your own crap, SHUT THE HELL UP!!

Unfortunately, I have no idea where this story comes from. A very good friend told it to me when I was in High School whining about my poor upper middle class, suburban white girl problems. Apparently, she was trying to tell me something. Time to listen to The Cure?
(Just Joking)
So without going into too much detail, this whole quitting smoking thing is really hard on me but at least I'm still trying.

...if you're happy and you know it then your heart will surely show it, if you're happy in your own crap, clap your hands, (clap, clap)....