Life-N-Stuff

There was a title of an ER (the television show) episode once called "Man Plans, God Laughs". I thought that was so appropriate for the title of my life these las few years. I always wanted the white picket fence, 2 kids, 2 cars and a dog life style. Never happened. Oh well. My life is going pretty good now that I've gotten over my old dreams and made new ones. I did end up starting with Herbalife. So far I have lost a pound a day. On this schedule, I should lose this twenty pound tire around my waist before the end of the month. I am very excited.
When I moved back up to Nor Cal, I did want to live close to my mom. Close enough for visits but not close enough to pick up her mail when she's on Vacation. While I have met a lot of nice people here, there aren't many to choose from in my age category so I fell back on an old standard. I contacted people I knew from High School (14 years ago). I used to hang out with this guy, Jimmy, and half a dozen other people in high school. We had a lot of fun. You know what I've discovered? You can't go back, life only wants to move forward. Jimmy, has two beautiful small children and an ex-wife (who he bitches about constantly when out of earshot of his children). In fact, after running down the list of people from High School. I'm in an impossibly small minority who didn't get married, have children and/or divorce. The fact that I have two exfiances, no children, and no big career to blame not having the first two correct, makes me almost feel like an outsider when I hang out with Jimmy now.
I always liked the idea of Destiny. I guess I was never one to fully embrace responsibility even though I always handled responsibility well. I just never wanted to have to. Destiny can make it all seem like you had no choice. Like Feminism. When I was younger I used to be pissed off at feminist. Maybe I like children and not having a job. Maybe I like having doors opened for me. Maybe I like having guys pay for dinner.... What's so wrong with that? Why did they have to go and screw everything up for me. Couldn't they wait another hundred years? What I found out was that I Love the idea of marring because I want to, not because I have to. I Love getting paid the same as men and perhaps, most importantly, I Love being able to have the same rights as men including voting. It's weird to me to think that black men got the right to vote before any women did (not because I don't like them it just seems that our forefathers weren't too impressed) and American Indians got the right to vote after everyone else. It says a lot about where society believed the rational, thinking , informed brains were located on the sliding social scale. Now just about anyone can vote and look where it got us! G. W. jr.
They say, history repeats itself. I'm still not quite sure who "they" are but I think "they" hang out with "them". Anyway, if history does repeat itself, does that mean the American Empire will fall like all other empires before it? Will America still exist, if that happens, like England or will America go the way of the Turks and Romans? And where does my life and happiness fit into the big picture? The middle? The end? The new beginning? Why can't I just go to work, pay my taxes and eat fast food like everyone else? Why am I always struggling for something bigger like an understanding of how this whole life thing is supposed to function properly?
Got Milk?