Cheaters Never Prosper

According to Louise Hay in her book, "Heal Your Body - The mental causes for physical illness and the metaphysical way to overcome them", addiction is: Running from the self. Fear. Not knowing how to love the self. The new thought pattern to overcome addiction (according to her) is, "I now discover how wonderful I am. I choose to love and enjoy myself."
The reason for the title of this entry is because I told friends and family that I quit smoking (after about 16 years) on October 5th, 2005. In truth I have cheated on about 7 of those days between that date and today's date. It amazes me how difficult all of this is and how simple it all seems like it should be. You just stop, right? Like pushing your foot down on the break peddle in your car, you just stop. The problem is that picking them back up is just as simple a concept. I decided the best way to start loving myself is to try to live as authentic as possible. Rule one of living your authentic self is not lying, especially to yourself, but definitely to everyone else as well, hence this admittance in writing. So now what, won't it be just as hard as before? Maybe, but I've called in reinforcements: Spiritual Practice, Binky and Step 3 Nicotine Patches (7mg).
I used to be an advisor at RSI Teen Seminars. One year, there was a girl about 15 or 16 years old who walked around the whole week with a baby pacifier (Binky). On or around day 2 of the week, the other advisors were freaking out that this teen might be on X since she seemed a bit too old for a pacifier and they saw some report on 20/20. As it turns out, she was trying to quit smoking cigarettes. She thought it made perfect sense to try a pacifier since she was using it to pacify her cravings for a habit which includes a bit of an oral fixation. So as I sit here typing this blog, I have a binky in my mouth instead of food or a cigarette. I admit it feels a bit odd, but to be honest, no more odd than not having a cigarette in my hand. Perhaps if this works out, I can become a millionaire marketing designer binky's for adults. As far as spiritual practices go, it's your standard stuff that I have been avoiding for no peticular reason for the last 2 or so years. Including Treatment (RSI's form of positive prayer), meditation and affirmation, including ones like the example by Louise Hay. Sorry, no dead chickens anytime soon (except perhaps for dinner). With the patches, I started with step 3 because 1. I smoked about half a pack of Camel Lights a day 2. I've tried to start with step one patches and got really, really sick 3. I feel I only need a boost in the right direction not a full on hand holding since I have quit cold turkey before.
So, to recap, it's been 25 hours since my last cigarette cheat. I have a blue baby pacifier in my mouth. I love myself the way I am and I hope you do too.
Love,
TR