Dirty Word: "Motherhood"

First off, I will warn you, this is probably going to get a little bit ranting and raving tonight.

*stands on soap box*

Why is it that when you just want to be a really good mother, people say things like "well, don't forget about you" or "you need to take care of your needs too" or some other bullshit thing like that? I think they are confusing a really good mother who wants nothing more than to do and provide the best for her kids with someone who is obsessed with her children (or child), lives only through her children (or child) and has no life except for her children (or child). While I do realize there is a very fine line, will people quit assuming I'm the obsessive freak and at least pretend I'm the one who wants to provide the best and do the best?

First off, just like the instructions for putting the mask on yourself before helping someone else put on theirs as the plane is crashing, how can a good mother "forget" to take care of herself? At this point, I think it is perfectly ok and somewhat necessary to skip going to the movies or getting my nails done so that I can provide and care for my twins. I do not see it as neglect of myself in anyway. I had at least 25 years of going to the movies and I will have time to see movies in the future, just not right now. Big friggin' whooop!! This same statement holds true for any form of "going out" in general.

Second off, What the hell is the big deal about gaining some self-esteem in a job well done if you have good, cute, well-behaved, and/or etc. children? It is quite obvious to me that not all of my self-esteem should come from such things but I see no harm in patting my self on the back for successfully teaching my toddlers not to pull things off the shelf at the supermarket or not pull all the books out of a friend's bookshelf when visiting. Clearly the child in question should also gain some self-esteem from all the smiles and complements he/she gets from doing a good job at behaving. While I understand that misbehaving doesn't necessarily mean that a child isn't being properly parented (duh... kids get into trouble) and that some kids are more behaved than others by nature, without a parent's help, but why do so many people not even try to have well-behaved kids? Boys will be boys... sorry about your broken TV... That's bullshit!!!

I dunno anymore. It's late and I'm tired but I'm just more than a bit annoyed with all the judgment that parents throw around onto other parents about their children, and how those children are parented. While at the same time, I'm soooooo full of judgment towards the way other parents are parenting (or lack there of). Amazing isn't it? Like a cat chasing it's tail, 'round and 'round.

I think whether or not we "measure up" is determined by how and what we judge those around us doing. In which case, I'm an awesome mommy and a pretty good daddy. Still, I'd like to be able to sleep at night without thinking that some of the "parenting styles" I see around me aren't creating the next would-be felon and I'd really like to just be able to let it go. I have my family... they have theirs... and just leave it at that. If only, right? Perhaps this will show up on the list of things that will make the world a better place right after "Peace on Earth"

(lol... I accidentally typed "Peach on Earth".
Mmmmmmmmmm peaches....)

"And on that note, we cue the music" (quote from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back said by Jason Lee)