My New Website!!

I've been looking at my screen so long, my eyes are going buggy, but I'm very excited about my new website:

http://www.traci.buildlastingsuccess.com

Woot!!

Cell Phone Flashlight

The cell phone manufacturers have addressed many of the needs of the consumer, making regular cell phones that do more and more things.... take pictures, take video, mark calendars, created an address book, calculators, alarm clocks, texting, email, internet surfing, video watching, mp3 playing, game playing.....

Lately, I've been upset with the userablilty of my cell phone as a flashlight. My kid wakes up at 3 am wanting the pacifier he droped. I grab my cell phone (which I normally use as an alarm clock) to use as a light to find said pacifier, but the LED screen just wasn't bright enough to find it. I ended up having to get up, walk all the way across the room, turn on a real light and find the dang thing. Infact, when I was going to bed in the first place, using my cell phone flashlight to make my way across the toy strewn floor was nearly deadly.

I've decided to write letters to the different cell phone manufacturers to see if they will work on improving the flashlight feature of the cell phones they produce and was wondering if there were any other features that others had concern about?

Dirty Word: "Motherhood"

First off, I will warn you, this is probably going to get a little bit ranting and raving tonight.

*stands on soap box*

Why is it that when you just want to be a really good mother, people say things like "well, don't forget about you" or "you need to take care of your needs too" or some other bullshit thing like that? I think they are confusing a really good mother who wants nothing more than to do and provide the best for her kids with someone who is obsessed with her children (or child), lives only through her children (or child) and has no life except for her children (or child). While I do realize there is a very fine line, will people quit assuming I'm the obsessive freak and at least pretend I'm the one who wants to provide the best and do the best?

First off, just like the instructions for putting the mask on yourself before helping someone else put on theirs as the plane is crashing, how can a good mother "forget" to take care of herself? At this point, I think it is perfectly ok and somewhat necessary to skip going to the movies or getting my nails done so that I can provide and care for my twins. I do not see it as neglect of myself in anyway. I had at least 25 years of going to the movies and I will have time to see movies in the future, just not right now. Big friggin' whooop!! This same statement holds true for any form of "going out" in general.

Second off, What the hell is the big deal about gaining some self-esteem in a job well done if you have good, cute, well-behaved, and/or etc. children? It is quite obvious to me that not all of my self-esteem should come from such things but I see no harm in patting my self on the back for successfully teaching my toddlers not to pull things off the shelf at the supermarket or not pull all the books out of a friend's bookshelf when visiting. Clearly the child in question should also gain some self-esteem from all the smiles and complements he/she gets from doing a good job at behaving. While I understand that misbehaving doesn't necessarily mean that a child isn't being properly parented (duh... kids get into trouble) and that some kids are more behaved than others by nature, without a parent's help, but why do so many people not even try to have well-behaved kids? Boys will be boys... sorry about your broken TV... That's bullshit!!!

I dunno anymore. It's late and I'm tired but I'm just more than a bit annoyed with all the judgment that parents throw around onto other parents about their children, and how those children are parented. While at the same time, I'm soooooo full of judgment towards the way other parents are parenting (or lack there of). Amazing isn't it? Like a cat chasing it's tail, 'round and 'round.

I think whether or not we "measure up" is determined by how and what we judge those around us doing. In which case, I'm an awesome mommy and a pretty good daddy. Still, I'd like to be able to sleep at night without thinking that some of the "parenting styles" I see around me aren't creating the next would-be felon and I'd really like to just be able to let it go. I have my family... they have theirs... and just leave it at that. If only, right? Perhaps this will show up on the list of things that will make the world a better place right after "Peace on Earth"

(lol... I accidentally typed "Peach on Earth".
Mmmmmmmmmm peaches....)

"And on that note, we cue the music" (quote from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back said by Jason Lee)

You Got Served!!

Apparently, according to "law", even though I gave birth to my children, I have to file for custody of them in order to have custody rights. Without doing so, anyone from a family member to my neighbor, could file for custody of my twins and could potentially have as much of a chance of winning as I do. Talk about totally messed up. So, I got the notice in my mail today that Christopher Shane Van Deventer was officially served papers in case he wants to fight for custody of his (*cough*cough*) children (lol, *eye-roll*). If he does want to file against me to gain custody rights, then the state will immediately nab him for child support without a paternity test as he would basically be admitting they are his children (which right now he denies to some people and claims with others, so I'm told). If he ignores it, I win hands down. Which personally I believe I should anyway. Last time I heard from him was an email in March 2006 basically saying he wants nothing to do with any of it (the twins were born in July 2006). While he is a complete dumbass, I rarely ever speak actual ill of him. Chris may have been a whim, but he did help created the greatest thing I will ever have in my life, my twins. For that, I will always be thankful. He's still a dumbass however, nothing he could ever do could possibly ever change that ; )

Growing Up

It's very frustraiting right now to have so much to write about because my internet is down right now. Currently I'm at the lovely new Redding Library using one of their computers but I only have 41 minutes left and I still have to check my email.

Anyway, a bunch of new realizations have been coming to me lately. A real meteor shower, if you will. It sort of started with a conversation I had with a friend of mine (mind). We were talking about parenting (of all things) and how her grand daughter didn't want to come home after working all day just to yell and dicipline her kids. My friend's comment was "somebody has to be the parent". Duh. God I love that word, "Duh". Wonderful word. Anyway, I've been thinking about how, as a child, I may have skirted cirtain responsibilites. As a young adult, I may have put off cirtain things, because "it doesn't really matter". Like making your bed. Come on, who cares really. In my world, nobodies going to know if it's made up or not. No one comes over, and if they did, my bedroom isn't on the tour. But I know. Somebody has to be responsible for it. I guess that's me. My mother will be pleased to know that for the first time in forever, ALL of my dishes are washed. After about a week of washing more dishes than I dirtied, they are all done. Currently, my laundry is also 90% done and the back yard is mowed. I always wanted a nice place to live and a wonderful family. Now that I'm finally becomming an adult, my dream is becomming real. And to think it only took 35 years *wink*.

Mildly Fixated

The last couple of days I've been mildly fixated on the Ads By Google Crawler. I want to take a moment to indulge my inner curiosity and see if I can put words down that will make it come up with something more interesting than what it's been posting lately which is a ton of "blog" related ads, boring.
So here goes my attempt to mess with the crawlers silliness:
First off, my crawlers are bawlers when they
Hit the chair or the air or drink Nair
But words can be funnier than that
More funnier than an English Grammer Cat in the Hat
This isn't a poem or a fishing trip whopper
With cheese Royal show stoppers
But that's Chicago for ya....

Which reminds me
If a Lawyers job is to razzle dazzle
Then what razzle dazzle's them?
but I digress, at best

Spring time has Hitler on Ice
Pretty nice
ending
even if it's not as big as his
I'm still headed down the road with a miracle

---------------------------------------------------

Ok, it sucks as a poem (I think) but I tried to put in different word groupings to attract better ads. I guess we'll see, and by that I mean me, what happens.

Eagle Scout

Sometimes I sit in the quiet and try to make up quick and witty remarks so that in a conversation, I am prepared. like a bad nija, I train a lot but not every day. Today I got to use one of my favorites. Unfortunately, I don't think it played as well as it did in my head. The idea is that Boy Scouts are always prepaired for anything. In today's time, it's the modern era, the age of information, if you will. There for, people like me aren't full of useless information, we have a little bit of information on practically every subject, prepaired to join in any conversation... we are the modern Eagle Scouts!

Basically, I think the point at which it flops the most is the simple fact that I have to explain it to death before anyone outside of my brain will get it : (

Oh well, story of my life.

Ads By Google and Other Nonsence

First of all. Today, I'm checking Ramblings to see if I have any comments, which is, like, never, but I check anyway. The last entry was "Insanity" and the crawler for Ads By Google comes up with "How Romantic Are You". I must say, it's always good to start your day with a good laugh!

So last night I drove up to McArthur dropping off magazines for PrePaid Legal at various bulletin boards, post offices, restaurants, etc. Boy were the deer out last night!! It got me thinking about a study scientist published a few years back about rattle snakes. Apparently, because so many people have killed rattle snakes that rattled, the gene for not rattling is becoming more prevalent. So, you'd think there'd be a "crossing the highway gene" or something. I mean, if deer have been getting hit by cars for at least the last 60 years, you'd think that "natural selection" would mean that less deer are getting hit by cars. Apparently not.

On top of the fact that I nearly hit 2 deer, I was amazed how many people were still flying down the road. I'm all for the feeling you get when you're feeling the full engineering power/speed/control of a fancy shmancy new automobile, but a deer through your windshield has nothing to do with how well a vehicle handles curves and hills. Anyway, I gotta get back to work : )

Check out my other websites if you get a chance:

www.myspace.com/nrgxtc

www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/troberti

Have a wonderful day!

Insanity

I believe I heard the definition of insanity as doing the same thing over and over, each time expecting different results.

My kids are definitely driving me to the point of insanity. WHEN DO THEY LEARN TO EAT? I have to mop 5 times a day, give baths at least 1 a day (although it should probably be more), I just want to scream. Then people want to know why my lawn isn't mowed!! I have to admit, the dumped bowl over the head was adorable the first couple of times. I even took pictures. This morning, how ever, I almost started crying. I am happy. I love my kids. I'm grateful to all the wonderful people out there who have been gracious enough to lend me a hand, or some advice, or both, but I am also looking forward to having kids instead of toddlers. The other day at the grocery store, I had about 3 or 4 people say something to the effect of "don't you just love this age?". Actually not really. Secretly, I wish for teenagers. I know teenagers. I've worked with tons of them. Toddlers on the other hand, well, these are my first. Of course, they'll be teenagers soon enough. Hopefully I won't be sent to the padded room anytime soon, as they still need me and I'm lucky enough to have them : )

Thought Cont.

So if a fart is really a burp from your butt, then is there anyone who can fart the alphabet?

Just A Thought

Thought for today:

A fart is like a burp for your butt.

Rusty

I just wrote a poem, "Upside Down". I feel rusty. It's been a while since I wrote a poem, but it's like riding a bicycle, I guess. You don't really ever forget how to do it, but your first time in awhile leaves you feeling awkward and sore. Mostly I'm posting again so soon because once I get this "Mother's Day" post off the first page, my blogs will fit next to the title selection again. While the Mother's Day post is pretty cool, I think, it's also too big to fit and I dunno how to resize it.

My rank at the poetry blog ranking web site is like, 22 out of 35 or some such thing. Mostly I think because I don't use this blog exclusively for writing poetry and nobody is bored enough to search the whole thing for a few poems.
FYI, most of my poems are listed in my first couple of post, so if that's what you're looking for, then go back to the beginning. I hope to post more new stuff as time marches on, but for right now, the bulk of it is posted way back in 2005.

Anyway, it's time for bed... fellow rankers, I salute you
feel free to leave a comment.
Peace. Out.