Tattoos

I've been trying to pick out a tattoo for the last twenty or so years and I think I've finally narrowed it down. I even have three different friends who have three different artist so I can shop and compare quality/personality. I thought it was interesting that Google Images will give you different pages based on how you word your search when to me they seem the same. Who'd a thunk there'd be 37 pages of tattoos but only 24 pages of tattoo? I didn't notice any repeats either. And Holy Cow, Some Of The Tattoos Pictured Are Definitely NSFW (those not acronym savvy it's not safe (to open/view) for work).

That reminds me, now that I have a myspace page, and I've been IMing for a few months, someone needs to make an acronym dictionary for us "just on the edge of the loop" people. I'm sure it would be a highly disputed, but worth a lot, publication. Of course, it might not be worth it to publish since this whole acronym language is constantly evolving. Maybe the people at Dictionary.com could get on it... I'd pay membership for that feature! Here's some of the ones I've learned so far... by the way, I'll be nice and use f**k instead of fuck for the faint of heart.

UTFS= use the f**king search- I have found this common on web boards when someone asks a stupid question that has already been answered.
NSFW= not safe for work- just in case you happen to be checking your email or surfing at work, this helps people know before they open it that it could get them into trouble if anyone walks by.
JJ or J/J or jk or jking= just joking or joking or just kidding- in other words "please don't get mad at what I just wrote to/about you". Helpful in a world full of sarcastic people since sarcasm doesn't play well in print.
gtg or g2g = got to go- this one took me an amazing amount of time to figure out.
kwim = know what I mean?

OMG = Oh My God!

tmi = too much information

lol = laugh out loud - extreamly overused and yet I still use it.
lmao = laughing my ass off
rotfl = rolling on the floor laughing - I would've never gotten this without help
brb = be right back
wtf = what the f**k?! - this is one of my favorites. First of all, it's one of the first ones I learned and second of all, I have trouble figuring out everyone's short hand so I'm always like:

"wtf does rotfl mean?"

btw = by the way - as in, "by the way, you might want to check out this web site"

ppl = people - as in "wtf are ppl saying?"

ttfn = ta ta for now
ttyl = talk to you later
tlea = true love ever after - ok, so I haven't actually seen this one on the web, we used to use this on notes in elementary school which was when the school computers used cassette tapes to run programs on them, but I wanted to fit in with one I knew.

Maybe I'll start my own definitions thingy ma bobber, screw Dictionary.com I can just keep editing this post and adding more as I figure them out. Any help you wanna give, email me, IM me or add a comment.
Genius! See a need, fill a need... and yes, Robots is on in the background.

Cheaters Never Prosper

According to Louise Hay in her book, "Heal Your Body - The mental causes for physical illness and the metaphysical way to overcome them", addiction is: Running from the self. Fear. Not knowing how to love the self. The new thought pattern to overcome addiction (according to her) is, "I now discover how wonderful I am. I choose to love and enjoy myself."
The reason for the title of this entry is because I told friends and family that I quit smoking (after about 16 years) on October 5th, 2005. In truth I have cheated on about 7 of those days between that date and today's date. It amazes me how difficult all of this is and how simple it all seems like it should be. You just stop, right? Like pushing your foot down on the break peddle in your car, you just stop. The problem is that picking them back up is just as simple a concept. I decided the best way to start loving myself is to try to live as authentic as possible. Rule one of living your authentic self is not lying, especially to yourself, but definitely to everyone else as well, hence this admittance in writing. So now what, won't it be just as hard as before? Maybe, but I've called in reinforcements: Spiritual Practice, Binky and Step 3 Nicotine Patches (7mg).
I used to be an advisor at RSI Teen Seminars. One year, there was a girl about 15 or 16 years old who walked around the whole week with a baby pacifier (Binky). On or around day 2 of the week, the other advisors were freaking out that this teen might be on X since she seemed a bit too old for a pacifier and they saw some report on 20/20. As it turns out, she was trying to quit smoking cigarettes. She thought it made perfect sense to try a pacifier since she was using it to pacify her cravings for a habit which includes a bit of an oral fixation. So as I sit here typing this blog, I have a binky in my mouth instead of food or a cigarette. I admit it feels a bit odd, but to be honest, no more odd than not having a cigarette in my hand. Perhaps if this works out, I can become a millionaire marketing designer binky's for adults. As far as spiritual practices go, it's your standard stuff that I have been avoiding for no peticular reason for the last 2 or so years. Including Treatment (RSI's form of positive prayer), meditation and affirmation, including ones like the example by Louise Hay. Sorry, no dead chickens anytime soon (except perhaps for dinner). With the patches, I started with step 3 because 1. I smoked about half a pack of Camel Lights a day 2. I've tried to start with step one patches and got really, really sick 3. I feel I only need a boost in the right direction not a full on hand holding since I have quit cold turkey before.
So, to recap, it's been 25 hours since my last cigarette cheat. I have a blue baby pacifier in my mouth. I love myself the way I am and I hope you do too.
Love,
TR

Quotes And My Take

I just finished watching the movie "The Interpreter", it sure leaves you with a lot to think about. I'm not proposing to write a review of it here so if you have no idea about this movie, google it or better yet, rent it and come back to this entry later. Not that I'm going to give anything away, it'll just help you better understand where I'm coming from. At the end of the flick is a quote from a book that may just be a fictitious prop from the movie, I don't know, but it really got me.

"The gunfire around us makes it hard to hear.
But the human voice is different from other sounds.
It can be heard over noises that bury everything else.
Even when it's not shouting.
Even if it's just a whisper.
Even the lowest whisper can be heard - over armies... when it's telling the truth"
-Edmond Zuwanie (a character in the film)

Pow! Doesn't that just hit you full force in the chest? With all that's going wrong in the world, it's easy to quickly dismiss this statement as completely false, but what about what's going right in the world? The information age is proving to be a curse as much as a blessing as we all seem to be almost overwhelmed with new truths, lies and images of pain, suffering, despair, hope, unconditional empathy and every other example of human emotion happening all over the world. Just in the last 30 days we've seen bombings, earthquakes, mudslides, and yes, hurricanes and our own human responses to those disasters. I heard lots of shouting and finger pointing, but little I could believe to be truth. I've heard whispers also and wonder if anyone else can hear those voices. If we can hear the whispers, and listen closely, intently, with our minds and hearts open what are we to do with the truth once we've really heard it with our whole beings?
Reminds me of another, less intense quote, one of my all time favorites...
"This life is a test... it is only a test... had it been an actual life... you would've been given instructions on where to go and what to do...." (for those of you who don't recognize this, it is a play on the wording of The Emergency Broadcast System which also emits the most annoying sound on the planet)
Personally, I've never believed in the "Learning Lessons" philosophy of why we are here. But I still can't help but laugh at this quote on occasion when I feel like I am awaiting further instructions for what the heck I am supposed to be doing with my life. Of course, to suppose anything is to assume and I'm sure nearly everyone by now has heard what assuming does:
to ass-u-me makes an ass out of you and me.
In high school, I used to write quotes on my text book covers and try to come up with my own. The only one I can think of that I made up is "You can lead a man to knowledge, but you can't make him think" (*Traci Roberti). Which is, of course, a play on the old saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink". The problem with quotes and quoting is that you can't always remember who said it which is why, I think, the most famous quoter of all time gets most of the credit as said by Mr. Anonymous.
I'll end this with some of my old high school text book cover quotes. The person being quoted will be after the *. Enjoy.
Come to the edge , he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came, he pushed them... and they flew. *Guillaume Apollinaire
Nothing is so exhausting as indecision, and nothing is so futile. *Bertrand Russel
Everyone has talent. What is rare is the curage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads. *Erica Jong
What the hell - you might be right, you might be wrong... but don't just avoid. *Katharine Hepburn
Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. *David Lloyd George
I never take counsel of my fears. *General George Patton
The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher. *Thomas Henry Huxley
Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. *William Shakespeare
Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around. *Henry Thoreau
Don't be afraid to go on an occasional wild goose chase, after all, that's what wild geese are for. *Anon
All You Need Is Love... *Beatles

For Real This Time

One 24 hour period down, a life time to go.
I went ahead and bought the "patch" yesterday to help me stop smoking. So far so good. I think last time I made it about 13 hours, so I feel like I'm kickin' ass this time. One thing is for sure, it's hard to write a blog while you're sucking on your finger....
This should go well.
TR

CRASH!!

Last Sunday I got rearended by a 24 year old female (Heather Gilbert) on drugs. I was at a stop with my left turn signal on and she was messing with her radio at 50 miles an hour. No tire screech, just CRASH. Part of me is a little angry, I feel like I was mugged. This person beat me up and took away my truck in the blink of an eye. Yes, my truck was totaled. Thankfully, I wasn't. Sure I have some back and neck discomfort, but hey, I'm alive and still able to function. It's just too bad she didn't have car insurance, but she can think about that while she's in jail on her second DUI offence.

New subject:
It's currently 50 degrees outside with a light rain falling. I just finished watching the movie "Sahara" which wasn't too bad. I drive back to Redding tomorrow morning to check out a Ford Explorer my mom found today. The other day I was quite excited to write a poem even though I don't think it's very good, it's the first thing I've written in a long time.

Untitled

The first tear came and went

I hardly noticed it

dripping down my chin

The second tear made me look

and face myself in

the mirror again

The third tear made me wonder

who this person is

I always seem to become

The fourth tear didn't fall

It can't

'Cause I am numb

TR

I think what I like best about it is that it sounds like a chorus to a song I've never heard. As is my usual protocol, I've already given a copy to the person who inspired it, even if he wasn't very impressed. Who knows how this poem will evolve, because in the end, they always do. This is basically a first draft, because I like it enough but it's still not very good.

New subject:
www.myspace.com/nrgxtc has become an interesting endeavor. I'm still trying to figure out HTML so I can do more stuff with it. In the mean time, I've found hundreds of different surveys that I can take to find out what kind of person, place or thing I am and at the end of the survey they have the code ready for me to copy and paste right in to my myspace page. Not that I ever wanted to know but I found out what kind of alcoholic drink I am (cocktail), what my name means (reaper in Latin), how weird am I (50%), if I could pass the U.S. citizenship test (yes), etc. As I am taking said quizzes, part of my mind thinks "What a complete waste of time", but there's always that old familiar killer of cats: curiosity. Then there are the some 30,000 other people at myspace that, for better or worse, you get to learn about. Like the guy who wrote "Fight Club" has a myspace page. One thing is for sure, there seems to be a lot more men out there that are shorter than me than taller. Perhaps I need to lower my standards a bit if I want a new beau (yes, a pun was intended).

Last new subject:
Never mind, I already forgot what I was going to write.